I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she smelled like a LAN party
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
