She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
