Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
