Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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