Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
