I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
His hands were made for my vagina.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize