Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm getting married
To pizza
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
