She just used a chaser for red wine.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
