he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
