Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The uberlube is also flammable
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
is it fun? or sober?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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