When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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