Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize