while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
