making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
