where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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