I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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