in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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