i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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