The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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