Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
