no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize