i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
True strength comes from lack of pants
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
