If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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