I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize