Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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