Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
