You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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