Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
