my vag is so smooth its legendary
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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