my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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