remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
