Duck Duck Cougar?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I forget how to act sober
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
