i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
