I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
someone owes me an orgasm
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
