He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
