Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
its liver damage thursday
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
