so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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