the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
