we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
