I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
