Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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