I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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