yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
