She's JV to your varsity
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
