We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
