I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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