I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
