The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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