hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
