I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize