i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
