I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
