did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
i think i just naturally attract stoners
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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