I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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