is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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