A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
