hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
