no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
