I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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