i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
