My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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