I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
