I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
