You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
