True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
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