I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
