Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
