I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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