Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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